Take Viagra – I Wanna Fuck!

Steak and I saw “Speed Racer” last night. It was our last night together before my three week trip back home so I was hoping that the evening would go magically.

Barreling down the freeway on my way to pick him up I thought about the beauty of gay relationships. I melted away into a dream and pictured Steak smiling down at me as he fucked me (like I always do). Here above me, I thought, is a man. We both have penis’s, we can’t make babies and most of the world thinks we’re freaks who are confused or just plain sick. Even so, the way Steak looks at me – with his big, sleepy eyes and as he pounds away inside me – shows how much we wants me. He’s a good-looking guy who is supposed to be dating women – but instead he chooses to have sex with me, another man.

Its hard to explain what I was thinking.

The movie was awful. The only redeeming quality was the brilliantly colorful animation – other than that the plot was thin and the script was wore cliche and contrived than “Full house”.

We both guzzled down soda and ate handfuls of popcorn. The two items, normally associated with each other, did not react well in our stomachs. I started feeling my stomach expand as it fought to digest the barbed wire kernels. “No, I want to have sex!” I thought. Unlike most gay bottoms, I never deny myself food before sex. Usually its not a problem but this time I was fearing it would be. With this in mind, I told Steak that I wanted to go straight back to his place after the movie and skip dinner. He was resistant but eventually complied.

Back at his place he told me to wait downstairs while he ran upstairs to take a shower. I thought that he was finally going to let me eat his ass (something I have wanted to do since I first met him) but the sound of the toilet flushing over the running shower made me think otherwise.

When he was finished he walked to the top of the metal staircase and waved for me to come join him. In bed we stripped naked and started kissing and running our hands up and down eachother. Since this was the last time we were going to have sex before my trip home I assumed we were going to take it slowly and carpe diem. Instead, he said “I just wanna jump right into it” before I even had the chance to work my way down to his penis. I said “not yet.” Thirty seconds passed and then I said “Okay I’m ready.”

The sex was going great. I was dirty talking and telling him to fuck me harder. As always, he bit his lower lip and hung his head down so he could watch the in-and-out action below. I grabbed his face and told him to look at me instead. Then I could feel his hard-on getting softer. NOT AGAIN! He kept trying to fuck me but after awhile it was useless. He pulled out and I sucked his dick. It tasted like the latex condom. His dick was semi-hard, but I couldn’t get it hard enough. He told me to relax and just let it happen. We started talking about boring shit and I reached down and started giving him a hand job. The hand job seemed to please him more than the oral/anal sex. He was moaning and squirming back and fourth. I asked him if I was good at giving blow jobs and he said “You give amazing blow jobs, and hand jobs. You’re just all around good in bed.”

The flattery quickly dissolved when I realized that his dick was not going to get hard again and that the sex I had so wanted to have was not going to terminate in dual orgasms. I asked him if he could finger me. He told me to wait an hour so we could try have sex again. I said I wanted to cum now – and that I could cum later too if he wanted to fuck. He acted annoyed and said that he felt like I was rushing things. Maybe there is some truth to that but its not my fault he couldn’t get hard. At least I hope its not.

He got on top of me as though he was going to fuck me and then stuck his fingers up my ass. He looked into my eyes as I licked his lips and face. Hes not the best at fingering, but he was able to hit my prostate. Every time his finger pushed against it I could feel a spark of pleasure and pain underneath my bely button. When I felt the orgasm coming on I practically yelled “KISS ME!” – and he did as the waves of hot, arousing pleasure shot out of my ass and dick.

Afterwards I ran my hands up and down his ass crack. For once I decided I was going to go for the gold and push my finger through his tight little ass cheeks. I knew I had to do it swiftly or else he would stop me and suffocate my fingers inside his clenched ass. I made sure he was relaxed and then I jabbed my finger in. All I felt was some hair and a little bit of raw skin. He laughed at my sudden attack and said that I must be autistic. I asked why and he said “because you always do things to entertain yourself. It doesn’t matter if I or somebody else thinks its funny. You just do it to make yourself laugh.” I lightly agreed.

The rest of the night felt a little awkward. We spoke and had a few laughs, but most of the conversation felt aimless and boring.

God how I fucking hate boring conversation – especially when its with someone that I want to have fun with. Steak also had diarrhea and had to shit every 20 minutes. Normally I would be disgusted if a guy told me he had to/just did shit – but thats not the case with Steak. I think its because he doesn’t care – he never tries to hide it. I, on the other hand, don’t shit. Never have and never will.

The next morning was more of the same. I assumed we were going to breakfast together so I left my backpack on the couch. He noticed and said “You’re leaving you stuff here?” “Noooooo…..” I said as I walked back and packed my things. “Oh its fine if you do” he said, sensing my irritation. Always we come back to his place for a few minutes after breakfast so we can kiss goodbye – whats the deal?!

In the elevator he tried to kiss me. I didn’t reciprocate. Then in the lobby of his building he gave me a hug and said he would call me later that day. It was then that I remembered that it was Monday and he had work – so there wasn’t going to be any breakfast and this was going to be our goodbye. There was a security guard right next to us so we couldn’t kiss. I gave him another tight hug and then we parted ways.

He called me a minute later and told me that there was wind damage in the parking garage – apparently from a windstorm that struck while we were sleeping. He knows I love sever weather. It was a cute gesture. Then the phone conversation quickly ran out of steam and I told him to call me later.