As for persistent boners, when you hit 40 you finally reach a stage in life when you control your cock rather than it controlling you. Which is, when you think about it, rather a shame. I miss those spontaneous ones I used to get in high school. Chemistry class, English class.. anywhere. If you allow your attention to drift for even a second you get wood. And then you can’t rid of it!

DB – I used to wish that a gay, horny version of every hot guy I went to highschool with could, at the snap of my fingers, appear in my bedroom closet and come out to greet me on my bed. Then, when I was done with them, I would literally and metaphorically shove them back into the closet and *poof* they were gone.