Bird fight
I don’t want to have sex anymore! I really don’t, but it just keeps fucking happening.
I thought erotic massages would be a good way to release my sexual tension, so I went to this guy on the beach and let him rim and blow and rub me. By the end, before I had a chance to reflect on my status as newly reclaimed virgin, he was fucking me.
Afterwards, on the same day nonetheless, I met up with this really young guy (he told me that the day before had been his 18th birthday) and he tried to fuck me as well. I felt his cock stab its way a quarter inch or so into my ass, then I realized that he was wearing no condom and that I didn’t want to get ass fucked. I pulled away. The next hour consisted of him stabbing his cock blindly around my ass and back. Sometimes it would push against the right spot, but most of the time it was far away from the gold. I never let him put it in, though.
You may be asking yourself – Why did I end up naked in the bed of a good looking boy that I did not want to fuck? I don’t know. I guess I lack boundary’s.
Both these incidents occurred this past Thursday. They were reminders that I need to actively work to not be whore.
The next day, I was walking to school when these two huge tropical birds started fighting in front of me. They weren’t just colorful birds, they were huge peacock sized birds that emerged seemingly out of thin air. I tried to attach some meaning to the event.
“Of course,” I said to myself, “the birds represent the internal battle between good and evil that exists within me. Their emergence shows how sudden and unexpectedly conflict can arise.”
“No no no” I thought seconds later, “these two magnificent animals indicate that even beauty has a destructive side.”
I had a few more theories before concluding that birds just like to fight sometimes.
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Cyrus…..you are young. You will figure it all out. Just having sex doesn’t make you a whore. *sigh*
lol the birds, yes, they squabble sometimes, but it was fun to watch you search for something more subliminal!
We need to swap. I want to have sex and as yet there are no willing male to do the horizontal monster mash with. Ones that aren’t ugly, that is.
It must be nice to be so irresistible though!
Kisses xxxxx
Trying so desperately not to have sex ironically makes you want it more, at least for me that was the case. I think the key is to find something more interesting than sex, if we can that is:
“An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex” -Edgar Wallace
Clearly, most of us including myself are not as “intellectual” as we would like to think ourselves to be.
You don’t have to be celibate. Just do whatever is ultimately good for your soul, whatever that may be for you. If it involves some random sexy time along the way and if it honestly doesn’t hurt you, then go for it. A potato chip once in a while doesn’t hurt too much, but in excess and uncontrolled it can do severe damage.
i think ive just found my soulmate in you. i have that same internal struggle of not being a whore but always end up with a dick in my mouth. and now i really cant be a whore since my high school fuck buddy just came back into my life and we’re kinda dating now.
SB – Then it makes you a slut.
tom – I’m trying to believe that everything happens for a meaning, but then why did the Holocaust happen?I can’t get past that one.
Amy – I’m sure that I give off the impression that I am very “available.” Its nice, but its kind of like offering an oxycontin addict pain killers on a regular basis.
Jane – And you described my internal struggle. When am I having innocent, sexy fun and when am I trying to make up for some void? I really have no idea. I’m an anxious person by nature, so perhaps I am perfectly justified in my acts, but deep down I think it wrong to have promiscuous sex.
J – Fuck buddies are the best way to alleviate promiscuity. God I need one, because then I can get fucked by one person over and over.
Collegeboy, I think you just answered your own question.
Maybe are aware, but I was very recently claiming that I didn’t have a conscience, didn’t know right from wrong, didn’t feel “bad” after doing something “wrong”, or what it was that I wanted. Well, I think I always knew. I was only very convincingly lying to myself and refusing to listen.
Oh and speaking of lying, I lied in my previous comment. I was trying to appear more humble and less irritating–fail. I’ve actually found lots of things more interesting than sex. I guess that makes me an intellectual now. Haha. Sorry about lying.
I’ve never been to confession, but it has always been on my bucket list. My catholic buddies tell me that it’s really not that cool, but I have always had a romanticized idea of confession from all the Spanish movies I’ve seen…though at the same time I don’t believe we still need a random dude to have God forgive our sins. God should be plenty capable and merciful himself, if not, I wouldn’t want forgiveness from such a loser in the first place.
Sounds like to me that you’re just bored and don’t know what to do with yourself.
CHB, I know I should be serious but I can’t stop laughing at this…
X,
what happened to your blog?
now it really is the blog which doesn’t exist!
Maybe you should start being a whore/slut/sex man for hire again cause it’s been over a month since your last entry and though I just started reading it last week I need and want more!
Where did you go?